Healthy and Successful Relationships with PDA and Autism

Why this course was created

This course was created with pathological demand avoidance (PDA) in mind, with a specific focus on romantic relationships. There is currently no help for those of us living with PDAers and we are left to seek conventional counselling or relationship coaching. Unfortunately, there is very little understanding about PDA amongst professionals and some of them don’t even recognize it as a real condition. Our relationships are being looked upon and treated as any other relationship where both parties are expected to contribute equally and in a rational way. What the professionals are missing is that these types of relationships are particularly challenging BECAUSE PDA is a hidden disability, and therefore cannot be approached the same way you would approach most relationships. A PDAer cannot be expected to always behave in a rational way, even if they logically understand the reasoning, or perhaps just because they logically understand the reasoning, and therefore a different approach to relationship coaching is desperately needed to find the peace and happiness these very precious and special relationships deserve.

What is different about this approach compared to other relationship courses?

Most relationship courses teach many good and useful skills such as understanding, listening, communication, meeting each other’s needs, and co-operation. This course does not cover any of the skills that involve your partners participation. It is all about you and teaching you how to be in charge of your own thinking and feelings. We often think that we cannot help how we feel, but this is something that we have learnt from a young age, and it has now become a habit. By changing how you think about things you will be able to change your feelings, actions and ultimately the results that you get in your relationship, without your partner’s help or concession. There are no expectations or external pressures put on your partner for you to succeed, and still you may see them blossom as a result of you being able to finally love them unconditionally and truly letting go of your expectations.

How this course works

For new habits to form, they need to be practiced as often as possible, therefore it is recommended that you set aside at least 10 min per day for 30 days straight to practice. Most lectures will have carefully planned exercises that you will need to do in order for you to maximise your results. It is important that you take your time to fill in all the work sheets carefully. The course will walk you through how to use the information that you have gathered on the work sheets to your advantage and teach you how to be in control of your own thinking. There are plenty of examples of how to do this but also the opportunity to send in your questions as you work your way through the course to get personal feedback.

What to expect by the end of the course

·         You will be confident about your ability to solve any problem in your relationship with ease.

·         You will be willing to feel any emotion and own that emotion.

·         You will be able to accept and unconditionally love your partner for who they are.

·         You will be able to say no and set boundaries from a place of love and content.

·         You will be able to make decisions based on your true needs and wants.

·         You will have a sense of inner calm, control, and love for yourself and your partner.

Who will benefit most from this course?

·         Those with a desire and willingness to change in order to find their own peace and happiness in their love relationships and life.

·         Those in love relationships with a partner who has a pathological demand avoidance profile, with or without an autism diagnosis.

·         Those who are struggling to make decisions in or about their relationships and end up living in confusion and chaos.

Commonly asked questions and answers

Q: I’m a mum to a child with PDA, will this course be suitable for me?

A: The techniques in this course may help you coping with your child, but the course does not cover how to deal with having dependents.

Q: My husband does not have PDA or autism; will I still benefit from this course?

A: Yes, anyone will benefit greatly from this course, although there are other methods that can work for you as well.

Q: Will this course help to unconsciously change my partner?

A: There are no guarantees, everyone is different. We are focusing on changing what you have control over, (you), so that changing your partner becomes irrelevant.

Q: I love the sound of this course, but I’m really busy! Can I blast through the course on the weekends?

A: The short answer is no. If you cannot find 10 min each day to practice, this course is not for you.

Q: I’m in an abusive relationship, will this course help me?

A: Physical violence is never ok and I’d want to encourage you to seek professional and legal help.

Q: We have been to counselling for over a year with almost no results. None of us have PDA or autism, can we take this course together?

A: This is a great idea! However, you may find that the examples aren't always applicable to your relationship as they have been selected with PDA in mind. You will however find the tools and work sheets very useful and I would recommend that you go through this course as individuals. At the end of each section you can reconvene and discuss your results.